Oh dear God! What a monstrosity! The less said about it the better. I will say this though. All my friends who recommended this film to me, kitne janamon ka badla nikal rahe thay? I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KICK YOUR ASS! If I’m feeling charitable. Else I’ll just kill you.
What a waste of Akshay Kumar’s dates. I can’t help thinking (mostly ruing) what I could’ve done if had those dates. You could be forgiven for thinking it’s a case of sour grapes, ‘cos it kinda is).
Although, I don’t think Akshay Kumar is really complaining. Thanks to all the publicity and the controversy, the film has already made its money in the opening weekend, taking Akshay Kumar’s hit score to 5 is it, 6, in a row? (Now that’s one dude who’s really emerged. Just watch Mr. Bond for reaffirmation).
I’m worried about is what the success of such films will do to directors like Anees Bazmee, David Dhawan, Sajid Khan and Priyan.
Why is it that we can’t make decent mass comedies in India? Examples of niche comedy being Dil Chahta Hai, Khosla ka Ghosla, Loins of Punjab and Jaane tu…which are all nice.
Now, I don’t hold anything against bawdy humour (I have been known to laugh at sandaas jokes on occasion) as long as it is there.
But No Entry, Sandwich, Welcome, Partner, Mujhse Shaadi Karogi, Bhaagam Bhaag, Bhoolbhulaiya, and Hey Baby (however, he spells it) are seriously illogical, unfunny films! I can’t understand how they gross so much. In fact, come to think of it, the last seriously funny mass comedy film I watched was Hera Pheri. And okay, even No Entry was passable. But the rest, pure, unhilarious drivel.
Which brings to me to the question – what does India want? To all wannabe writers, directors, don’t try hard to work on a kickass script. Just concentrate on three-four things:
- 1. Big stars: Akshay Kumar, Salman Khan…you get the picture.
- 2. Random slapstick events: And don’t worry about logic. Hey, if you gotta get Akhay Kumar to Egypt, you gotta!
- 3. Have the likes of Govinda mouth lines like Tu meri hi girlfriend ke saath saiyan banke naiya pe chaiya chaiya kar raha hai! in a particularly shrill tenor.
- 4. Have a chase sequence in the end with all the characters involved. It doesn’t matter who’s chasing who or why. As long as it is chaotic.
Oh, and don’t forget to attire heroines in skimpy clothes and make them sing songs. If you really must give them an ‘author-backed’ role, make them nagging (shrill) wives. Notice how ‘shrill’ keeps cropping up?
Congratulations, you’ve got a hit film!
When tall, suave, handsome Kaustav Kapoor walks into her office, ditzy private investigator Kasthuri (aka Katie) Kumar has anything but detection on her mind. He is, after all, a scion of Bollywood’s first family—perhaps he has a role for her? Perhaps she will, at last, get to sashay down the red carpet in a designer gown, with flash bulbs following her every move?
But Kapoor’s intentions are much more prosaic: he wishes Katie to trace the heroine of his new blockbuster (and, if Katie’s read the glossies correctly, his life) who is mysteriously AWOL. Despite her misgivings, Katie finds herself unable to refuse the task entrusted to her, and thereon follows a bewildering hunt for the film star across a trail of corpses.
And if that isn’t excitement enough, she has to contend with the maddening and mysterious, but, oh-so-hot, Tejas Deshpande.
The first in a brand new detective series.
IN BOOKSTORES NOW.
Smita Jain's Weblog 
Ewww!! I saw the trailer and I think I fell sick because of that! 😀
I am NOT going to waste my money on such crap.. Why can’t Bollywood come up with something that makes sense, for a change!?
Have you seen Hungama? And yes one thing I’ve always wanted to ask [off the record], what would be the cast of KK, if you get a free hand at choosing the actors. Hmmm? Nikhil
@nikhil…because the crap works 🙂 and 😦
@nikhil…maybe Kris would be Kareena? I dunno…and Dev…hmmm…I guess someone like Saif? Can’t say though…haven’t really thought about it..what do you think?
I have a namesake here! Interesting!
Hi nik. Smita, I think Kay kay [donno the spl] would suit the role of Dev, since Dev would need to express with his eyes. Kareena is a bit too glamourous for it. No?
But at present I cant think of a serious actress amongst the younger lot. Hey maybe Ayeshia Takia [again spl]? Hey how about Shahid and Amrita Rao……
What do you think myadam?
Tell me about it! After all that hoopla, I paid 15 euros to see that stupid movie. 😦
~Sookie
@ Nikhil…are you planning to make a film on KK? Even I haven’t thought about it so much 🙂
@ Sookie…what say, we collectively sue the producers? After all, companies get reprimanded for wrong info in their ads 🙂 Why not producers?
Honestly I would love to make a film on KK. It would make a great film, i’m sure. While reading KK, I felt, that you had a film in mind while writing it, like when a writer starts seeing – what he writes – as a filmy scene; this happened to me while I wrote my first book. I would love to watch KK in a hall.
@Nikhil…I’m not sure that I had a film in mind. But, I do have a very visual way of writing. I guess it’s got to do with my perspective as a screenwriter. As for watching KK in a hall, I would love to see that too 🙂
If we did sue our producers for all the bad movies that we have seen in the last decade, then the only poor ones left in our country would be the producers themselves.
I think I understand why most movies run well overseas. Out here there are very few things that connect us back home. Lets face it, amidsts the traveling, clubbing, trekking, partying, working, we miss home. Going to movies is one way of getting to know our community here, meeting new people (Indians, that is 🙂 for bragging, showing off, gossipping, etc etc ) and basically enjoy something that we can safely report back home. And also that we are all suckers for bollywood drama!!!
Its an interesting strategy by PR/people involved in cinemas I suppose. Just an observation…
~Sookie.
isnt this article and d comments are too elitist? one man’s dumbshit can be another man’s intelligentia.. how do u decide that the above mentioned films are crab? who has set d parameter? if at all there are any parameters its d boxoffice in which these films have proved their mettle..
I personally dont like any of the films not even ur recommended No Entry but i believe in a vast country like India nothing can be generalised. so its very difficult to find a defination for a good film even if u can give d formula for it..
@Gourav, agreed. But it is my blog and my opinion. Moreover, just because Sing is Kinng got a good opening doesn’t mean it’s a good film. Collections have already dropped. So, I guess people haven’t liked the film, generalisations or no generalisations.
The whole comment by smita jain is a crap!! singh is kinng and akshay just rocks,,everyone enjoyed the movie to the fullest,,so narrow minded sick people can just sit back and relax if they dont liked it…
@Rahul, you are entitled to your opinion, just as I am to mine.