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Posts Tagged ‘south-east Asia’

The US has decided to triple its aid to Pakistan. Boy, I don’t know about you but I wish Obama was my dad. “Hey, bunked school to bonk with boyfriend? Excellent! Let me reward you by taking you out for a beer!”

I know, I know, the US has a far reaching agenda in ‘rewarding’ Pakistan. Yeah, I can see how that can work. “If I take her out for a beer, that one beer will become two and maybe she’ll get drunk. If she gets drunk, she’ll get stupid and have unprotected sex with her boyfriend. And maybe she’ll get knocked up. And then I can marry her off and she’s not my problem anymore!”

On the subject of Pakistan, there’s been outrage over some Paki jokes on tee shirts. Supposedly they go like this: What’s the difference between a Pakistani and a vacuum cleaner? The vacuum cleaner needs to be plugged in before it sucks. The picture shows a Pakistani with the word, Jehadi on his sleeve and three thought bubbles – eat, sleep and Kashmir – around his head.

Reacting to these tees, Teesta Setalvad called them sad and shocking and felt that jehadis’ rights had been violated. She also made public her intention of coaching the jehadis on fabricating stories of atrocities committed against them by the Indian authorities and private citizens like Tantra.

Yeah, one lodged in luxury in Arthur Road Jail and the other nine dead availing of an exclusive deep freeze in the morgue, I can see how life sucks for them.

In yet another news, Abbas Tyrewala said he’s sending John Abraham to his mother-in-law for coaching in diction. To which the mom-in-law said, “you mean that hunk of wood in yellow trunks was alive?”

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By now everyone must be aware of what’s happening in the Gaza strip, including criticism of Israel’s actions. Yet, I defy any Indian not to feel a modicum of wistfulness at the forcefulness of Israel’s reaction, wishing we had the nerve to do the same with Pakistan.

Sure, Israel had come under a lot of international condemnation for their actions. They have been accused of ‘using a sledgehammer to crack a nut.’ My feelings on this are mixed. Sure they could have used crude homemade bombs like the other side, but what would that have achieved? If you have to retaliate, do so with such vigour that it is at least a deterrent. Otherwise why bother at all? Why not be like India, only pleading and whining at international fora? Speaking of which, what has the international community done about it? Diddly squat. America is, as it always has, supporting Israel.

I know this is just the rant of a helpless people, let down repeatedly by their government. I know that bombing Pakistan is not an option. Not even ‘surgical strikes.’ Because, for sure, it will result in a war and that is not a desirable option. Not least of all because both are nuclear capable states but because it would be deleterious to an already weakened economy.

So we’ll do what we always do. ‘Exhort the international community using gentle persuasion.’ Meanwhile, we’ll roll out the red carpet for Bill Clinton, soon-to-be-appointed special envoy to Kashmir.

On that cheery note, Happy New Year.

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