Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Shiney Ahuja’

The Shiney Ahuja episode carries on. Now more people are coming out in support of him. Someone said, “He didn’t smoke or drink.” I’m sure the maid feels better. “Gee, he raped me, but at least I didn’t get cigarette burns!”

Meanwhile, there’s much controversy over the tabling, in the house, of the Bardhan committee report on 26/11 attacks on Mumbai. The government is reluctant to table the report as is while the opposition is determined to have it tabled in the house as is. After furious negotiations, they have arrived at a compromise. Now the tabled report will be a much slimmer document and will read, “There were lapses.”

The Office of Expenditure is also being charged with lapses. There is much furore over their reinstatement of policy approving first class travel for leaders and bureaucrats. They are being accused of fiscal imprudence and gross misuse of tax payers’ money. I don’t understand what the fuss is about. They didn’t buy any ammo for the Mumbai police last year so it’s just a case of internal juggling of accounts, isn’t it?

Besides, it helps the cash-strapped Air India which hasn’t paid salaries. They did, however, spend twelve crores on crockery.  So what are they saying? “Hey, your plane is on autopilot as the pilot didn’t make it to work…but enjoy your pretty plates?”

On the subject of flying, someone, somewhere asked, “Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?” Good question, I thought. You are on a suicide mission, I don’t think it matters if your brains are splattered everywhere. And then someone said, “I don’t think they were helmets. They were flight caps and goggles.” This was even stupider, I thought. What were they afraid of? People are gonna say, “Looks like he was having a bad hair day, May he rest in peace?”

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

So the verdict is out. Intercourse did take place between Shiney Ahuja and the maid and the whole industry is united in its condemnation of the incident. When he heard this, Ahuja broke down and cried, “It was the biggest mistake of my life.” When asked whether he admitted to the incident, Ahuja said, “Rape? I was talking about my earlier unreasonable and uppity behavior with the industry folk.”

A mistake. Really? I wonder what gave it away. When they started bandying about terms like ‘IPC section 376’ and ‘sexual assault?’

Anurag Basu is one of rare people who have come out in support of Ahuja. Calling Ahuja not only a colleague but a close personal friend, he said that Ahuja is a good husband and father and would never do something like that. When questioned about his strong defense of the accused, Basu said, “What do you expect me to say? Look how much trouble my comments on the Big B got me into.”

Shazahn Padamsee, the new Yashraj heroine starring opposite Ranbir Kapoor in Rocket Singh, is upset that a fake FB profile of hers is doing the rounds. Hearing about this, Minisha Lamba said, “I should be so lucky!”

In a complaint lodged with the cyber crime cell, Padamsee stated that someone has created a fake profile of hers and is using it to send abusive messages to industry people. Reacting to this, Anurag Kashyap said, “Now why didn’t I think of it?”

The turmoil in the BJP continues. During their ongoing chintan baithak, internal critics have said that BJP has distanced itself from its core beliefs. Reacting to this, Advani was heard grumbling to Rajnath Singh, “After all these years who the hell remembers core issues and beliefs?”

Sushama Swaraj also said that the situation in the BJP was volcanic. However, she added, the volcano was nearly extinct and in no danger of erupting anytime soon.

The Congress is doing away with feudal titles. They have advised their members to desist from using titles like Raja, Begum, Nizam, Nawab etc. The memo was signed by Contessa Sonia Gandhi.

Read Full Post »

So, India has crashed out of the T-20 world cup tournament. When Dhoni was asked in a post match interview if Sehwag’s absence contribute to the failure, he said, “Not as much as Jadeja’s presence…and the fact that we gambled on sending in Yuvi way down the order…and the fact that we gambled on chasing…and…To which the media asked, “Did any of your gambles pay off?” To which Mahi said, “Sure they did. With odds 4-1 in favour of India winning, I made a pile of cash.”

A new study has found that listening to ‘chilling’ music or music that ‘sends shivers down your spine’ activates the same pleasure centres in the brain as does cocaine. Reacting to this data, the music companies were reported to have complained, “Great, now they’re going to ban us too?”

A study has found that, like humans, sperm whales have baby sitters, too. So how does this work? “Hey, I need a babysitter.” “Okay, it’s going to cost you ten squid an hour.” And do the whale babysitters exhibited the same behavior as human baby sitters – talking incessantly on the phone, raiding the fridge and making out with their boyfriends?

Shiney Ahuja had been accused of rape by his eighteen year old maid. In a statement to the police, the Ahuja said, “There’s been a misunderstanding. When I said to her, kapde utaro, I meant take off the clothes from the clothesline.”

To which the maid reacted by saying, “I’ll never be able to completely explain, how you feel after something like that…worthless, violated, confused….n o t h i n g will ever be able to compensate for the degradation I feel…but, the huge out-of-court settlement will help tremendously.”

Sorry, I know that’s insensitive but I feel the whole thing sounds…fishy. She’s been alone with him for forty-five days and he attacks now? I’ll wait for the maid’s rape kit. If it does indeed confirm rape, I’ll gladly apologize.

The time is 1.00 p.m. and I just got the Mid-day. According to Mid-Day, Shiney Ahuja had apparently confessed to the crime. I apologize for the insensitive joke above. Being a woman, I know how heinous rape is. The problem is that treatment meted out to alleged perps under the rape and anti dowry laws is so ridiculous that one does feel for the man. The treatment seems to be arrest first, enquire later. It is just so easy to frame a guy! I personally know of two instances where this has happened. Hence, my earlier scepticism.

Read Full Post »