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Posts Tagged ‘Rajnath Singh’

So the verdict is out. Intercourse did take place between Shiney Ahuja and the maid and the whole industry is united in its condemnation of the incident. When he heard this, Ahuja broke down and cried, “It was the biggest mistake of my life.” When asked whether he admitted to the incident, Ahuja said, “Rape? I was talking about my earlier unreasonable and uppity behavior with the industry folk.”

A mistake. Really? I wonder what gave it away. When they started bandying about terms like ‘IPC section 376’ and ‘sexual assault?’

Anurag Basu is one of rare people who have come out in support of Ahuja. Calling Ahuja not only a colleague but a close personal friend, he said that Ahuja is a good husband and father and would never do something like that. When questioned about his strong defense of the accused, Basu said, “What do you expect me to say? Look how much trouble my comments on the Big B got me into.”

Shazahn Padamsee, the new Yashraj heroine starring opposite Ranbir Kapoor in Rocket Singh, is upset that a fake FB profile of hers is doing the rounds. Hearing about this, Minisha Lamba said, “I should be so lucky!”

In a complaint lodged with the cyber crime cell, Padamsee stated that someone has created a fake profile of hers and is using it to send abusive messages to industry people. Reacting to this, Anurag Kashyap said, “Now why didn’t I think of it?”

The turmoil in the BJP continues. During their ongoing chintan baithak, internal critics have said that BJP has distanced itself from its core beliefs. Reacting to this, Advani was heard grumbling to Rajnath Singh, “After all these years who the hell remembers core issues and beliefs?”

Sushama Swaraj also said that the situation in the BJP was volcanic. However, she added, the volcano was nearly extinct and in no danger of erupting anytime soon.

The Congress is doing away with feudal titles. They have advised their members to desist from using titles like Raja, Begum, Nizam, Nawab etc. The memo was signed by Contessa Sonia Gandhi.

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Hrithik Roshan has reportedly paid a whopping Rs. 45 crore (Rs. 450 million) for a plot of land in Juhu. Shows he’ll pay anything to get away from daddy. And SRK has gifted his bodyguard a flat in Bandra. You read about that? Seems like SRK’s bodyguard is getting married and when SRK found out, he decided to gift him an apartment next to Mannat. Shows he’ll pay anything to keep Salman away from him!

Oh, and Rakesh Roshan gave a statement about Hrithik’s land purchase deal. Did you read that? He said, “Hrithik is not moving out. He’s bought the plot as an investment.” And you know what he didn’t say? It’s an investment made on his behalf by the Banco Nacional de Mexico!

China has mocked India saying they can’t compete with us. And I was thinking they are so right. What’s the one thing we Indians are good at? Reproducing, right? And we can’t even compete there!

BJP,  yes the party of doddering old men, has been in discussions for the past few days to discuss the reasons for their dismal performance in the recent elections. One journalist parked outside noticed the noise levels inside rising and excitedly asked the Rajnath Singh, “They must have decided something by now.”

Rajnath Singh: Decided? No, we have just finished saying “Good Morning”.

Journalist: But it’s been going for hours.

Rajnath Singh: You must understand, young journo, it takes a long time to say anything in Old BJPish. We never say anything unless it’s worth taking a long time to say.

It’s scary how many similarities there are between the BJP and the Ents of the LOTR.

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