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Posts Tagged ‘Pakistan’

The US has decided to triple its aid to Pakistan. Boy, I don’t know about you but I wish Obama was my dad. “Hey, bunked school to bonk with boyfriend? Excellent! Let me reward you by taking you out for a beer!”

I know, I know, the US has a far reaching agenda in ‘rewarding’ Pakistan. Yeah, I can see how that can work. “If I take her out for a beer, that one beer will become two and maybe she’ll get drunk. If she gets drunk, she’ll get stupid and have unprotected sex with her boyfriend. And maybe she’ll get knocked up. And then I can marry her off and she’s not my problem anymore!”

On the subject of Pakistan, there’s been outrage over some Paki jokes on tee shirts. Supposedly they go like this: What’s the difference between a Pakistani and a vacuum cleaner? The vacuum cleaner needs to be plugged in before it sucks. The picture shows a Pakistani with the word, Jehadi on his sleeve and three thought bubbles – eat, sleep and Kashmir – around his head.

Reacting to these tees, Teesta Setalvad called them sad and shocking and felt that jehadis’ rights had been violated. She also made public her intention of coaching the jehadis on fabricating stories of atrocities committed against them by the Indian authorities and private citizens like Tantra.

Yeah, one lodged in luxury in Arthur Road Jail and the other nine dead availing of an exclusive deep freeze in the morgue, I can see how life sucks for them.

In yet another news, Abbas Tyrewala said he’s sending John Abraham to his mother-in-law for coaching in diction. To which the mom-in-law said, “you mean that hunk of wood in yellow trunks was alive?”

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By now everyone must be aware of what’s happening in the Gaza strip, including criticism of Israel’s actions. Yet, I defy any Indian not to feel a modicum of wistfulness at the forcefulness of Israel’s reaction, wishing we had the nerve to do the same with Pakistan.

Sure, Israel had come under a lot of international condemnation for their actions. They have been accused of ‘using a sledgehammer to crack a nut.’ My feelings on this are mixed. Sure they could have used crude homemade bombs like the other side, but what would that have achieved? If you have to retaliate, do so with such vigour that it is at least a deterrent. Otherwise why bother at all? Why not be like India, only pleading and whining at international fora? Speaking of which, what has the international community done about it? Diddly squat. America is, as it always has, supporting Israel.

I know this is just the rant of a helpless people, let down repeatedly by their government. I know that bombing Pakistan is not an option. Not even ‘surgical strikes.’ Because, for sure, it will result in a war and that is not a desirable option. Not least of all because both are nuclear capable states but because it would be deleterious to an already weakened economy.

So we’ll do what we always do. ‘Exhort the international community using gentle persuasion.’ Meanwhile, we’ll roll out the red carpet for Bill Clinton, soon-to-be-appointed special envoy to Kashmir.

On that cheery note, Happy New Year.

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Much has been made of the presence of the FBI and Mossad in India in assisting with the terror investigation. But I don’t think it’s going to amount to much. I think it’s only a token gesture because the FBI is supposed to investigate the death of Americans nationals abroad.

Let’s be very clear about one thing. America is only interested in protecting its interests in the region. Condoleezza Rice, John McCain and what have you are only visiting because they are worried the Pakistani Army will move its troops from the Afghanistan border which will seriously hamper their war on terror.

Help from Pakistani Government is not an option when they make contradicting statements day after day. We all know why. It is because they are not in control of their own country. It is a failed state and there are various power centres across the country, the Army being the prime one. And it is the Army that is calling the shots on this one.

So what are our options? I’ll tell you what aren’t:

1.       A full scale war is not. We are both nuclear capable states and even though, Zardari had assured us some time ago about his government’s ‘no first use’ policy, who knows which fanatic is sitting there with a finger on the button? It is well known that the Pakistani army has extremist elements within its rank.

 

2.       In the presence of incontrovertible proof, we could put pressure on America economically. We all know that America is, to put it inelegantly, fucked right now. We are too but not to such an extent. I don’t know how far that will help and how big India is in their scheme of things, but surely we, as an emerging superpower can do something.

 

Having said that, dependence on America alone is not an option. And it should not be. There’s a real danger of becoming a lackey of America. That would be unfortunate because, as history shows us, wherever they have gone, they have left a mess behind. It’s a different matter that the same mess later comes to bite them in the ass.

 

3.       Where does that leave us in terms of allies? China. Politicians, for example one party spokesperson (I don’t remember who), said the other day that contrary to what has been reported by the media, India actually has great relations with China. Yeah, right. Thank you very much but I’d rather go by Arun Shourie and watch them very carefully. After all, it suits them to have an India hemmed in from both sides.

So, I repeat, what are our options when Pakistan is disinclined to weed out extremist elements from its soil (they even deny the fact that the terrorists were Pakistanis!)? Sadly, covert action on our part is our only option. But can it be done? According to the Indian Army, the Indian Army had covert operations capabilities till some time ago when they were discontinued. But these capabilities can be reacquired. The question is: will it be done?

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