A Review in the Statesman

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Piggies on the Railway – A Review in the Tribune

Nonchalantly Insolent

ALAS! Lady-detectives, Indian lady-detectives are elusive literary creatures. Despite the plethora of contemporary characters that the modern Indian writer has cajoled out of the mighty pen, this earthling has failed to evolve.

But wait a minute. Here comes one waltzing in on her wannabe “black Fendi peep toes”—and six inches high no less!

Enter Kasthuri Kumar aka Katie, detective with a buzz and two bumbling feet. And ‘seasoned’ chick-lit writer Smita Jain pulls her off with elan. Smita knows what she is getting into. Her successful debut novel ‘Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions’ is compounding nto a screenplay for a Bollywood film and as she herself says: “I know I can write a decent murder mystery.” Smita is also curious, “Did you guess who the killer is?” she asks fervently. And I must confess I did not. I was on the wrong railway track all along (much to this author’s delight!) and I certainly enjoyed the bumping ride!

Read the rest of the review

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Piggies on the Railway is now Retailing!

For those of you who can’t wait *winks* and for those with more practical considerations (like saving  muchos rupees), you can order your copy here.

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Piggies on the Railway – Sneak Peek

Preface

My name is Kasthuri Kumar and I am twenty-eight years old—or thereabouts anyway. For reasons that many Thirumalas, Tilotammas and Bisheshwaris will understand, I like to be addressed either by my surname or my self-shortened moniker, Katie.

Contrary to what my first name might suggest, my ancestry is north Indian. My parents were both sensible, middle-class bureaucrats, the choice of my name being their one rash act. When they were posted in Kerala, my mother had patronised a local eponymous artist and recklessly promised her that she would name her daughter after her. And she did.

I recently (voluntarily) resigned my commission from the Indian Police Service (IPS) following some (minor) medical problems. After my retirement I came to Bombay with a vague but strong desire to do something creative, exciting even. Not as in adrenaline pumping-dodging-Maoists’-bullets exciting, but something stimulating. And if it involved a bit of fame and glamour, well, so much the better.

In Bombay, I camped out with my best friend, Marie Banerjee, while I figured out what to do with my life. It was Marie who inadvertently got me started on my present career. While I was shacked up with her, one of her uncles had some procedural problems renewing his arms licence. I, having wielded a weapon all my professional life, and having routinely dealt with such issues, was able to help him out.

Which gave Marie the idea that that’s what I could do with my life—and incidentally put my experience in the police to good use—private detecting. Now, that’s not exactly what I had in mind, but it would have to do till I figured out what it was that I actually wanted to do.

Actually, I think I wanted to be a famous doctor, or a scientist. Although it is probably too late for either, I still have fantasies about receiving the Nobel Prize. I’m not sure what the breakthrough discovery is, other than the hazy notion that it might be in the field of astrophysics. Perhaps some advanced work on string theory? What I am pretty sure about, is that I’m wearing a shimmering red gown by Valentino with black Fendi peep toes.

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Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions has been optioned!

I guess I can let the cat out of the bag now. Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions is being made into a film. The producer is iRock India Pvt. Ltd. and we just signed the deed yesterday.

I’m very happy it’s them ‘cos they’re really nice people and as excited about the development as I am. Besides, our visions and amibitions for the project match.

We have already shortlisted potential directors and screenwriters. Before you ask, it’s not me, although I was offered the chance to pen the screenplay. I firmly belive that authors should never attempt to adapt their books into screenplays as they are too close to the source material to be objective. Having said that, I will, obviously provide all the assistance I can.

Wish us luck!

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Life post the multiplex strike

Picture this…a delinquent is given charge of a very expensive machine to run it as he pleases. Indeed, run it aground if he wishes….what’s that?…no, it’s not a quirk of fate…it is a carefully considered decision…No, no, I’m not talking about George Bush, although I do see your point. I’m talking about the latest Star Trek.

As for Angels and Demons, let’s not even go there. The plot is this: The Pope dies and the next four cardinals in line to succeed him, the preferati (have I got this correct?) are kidnapped by some sicko claiming to be a member of the secret society Illuminati. Now it’s a race against time if the four cardinals are to be saved and the succession to go off without a hitch.

But fear not, the rules are relatively simple and the only knowledge required is that of the location of ancient churches in Rome and the various statues in them. A job, apparently, only Robert Langdon can do.

No conspiracy theory here. This is an out and out thriller, a genre Dan Brown is not good at. Makes me kinda nostalgic about the strike period.

Oh, I also did an interview with FHM India. Give it a read if you, as the article says, wish to know ‘her quirks, chic lit and also answers to those strange questions you have always wanted to ask writers!’

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How to Write the Prefect Query Letter

I get lots of emails and calls from people saying: I’ve written my novel, now what? How did I go about identifying a Publisher? How did I contact them and what did I say to them?

To begin with, the query letter is the most important document you’ll ever write, perhaps more important than your novel itself. It is your sales pitch.

Just to give you an idea, when I wrote Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions, I wrote 92,000 plus words in six months. Which works out to about 500 plus words a day. But when you consider the fact that those six months include about two months of rewrite, the figure is much more impressive. Contrast that with the fact that I spent three weeks writing my query letter of 500 words.

Anyway, I did some research and stumbled upon Noah Lukeman’s “How to Write Great Query letters.” Lukeman is the  bestselling author of books like First five pages, The plot thickens and A dash of style.

He is also an agent who represents a lot of literary heavy weights including many New York Times bestselling authors and Pulitzer prize winners. As such he has reviewed over 100,000 query letters, i.e., 10,000 letters a year for 10 years.

He recently posted a FREE e-book on Amazon which I’ve found to be one of the best books on the subject of query letters. Check it out.

 

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Comments Etiquette

I’ve been getting a lot of hate mail and hate comments. You don’t see them because, of course, I don’t approve them.

I don’t understand this. I mean, I can understand it if your rant is against the book, because you’ve paid good money for it (assuming of, course, that you’ve bought it and not borrowed/pinched it). So if you’re feeling cheated, rave on. (Although, even there I’d feel better if the comments were constructive and not pure venom.)

But rants against the blog? Which is free? How demanding are we getting? I understand that your time is limited and if devote an ‘x’ number of seconds to a site, that is ‘x’ seconds less for something else that you may consider more worthwhile.

But, seriously, grow up. If you don’t like something, move on. That’s what I do. A couple of seconds of skimming tells me whether I want to spend more time on that particular site or not. I don’t crib about having wasted my time by visiting a particular site and then, contrarily, spend more time in leaving a hate comment.

At first I got a bit upset because I had made it very clear from the very beginning that:

• A) There’s only so much gyaan you can impart on the craft of writing. As the end of the day you have to do the writing.
• B) I use my blog as my morning pages as well. So there will be days when I’m not dropping pearls of wisdom.

But then I realised that this was their way, albeit a convoluted one, to get me to visit their blogs. There’s nothing quite like a little rant to get noticed, is there? Perhaps, something to keep in mind about when you’re writing your bestseller?

Here’s one I got on the book today. Well, it’s not on the book per se.

This guy wrote: Hi, I’m a fan of your book. Keep up the good work.

To which I replied: Thank you so much. One does aim to please

To which he replied: Hmmm, you sound rude and arrogant.

I give up!

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Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions is now Available on Amazon

Yipee! It’s finally happened. You can now buy Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions from Amazon.

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Apology, Errata and Some More Spreading the Love

This is a sincere apology to all readers of my blog for the appalling editing mistakes in my post Singh is Kinng and Rules of Comedy.

I am really sorry for doing such a shoddy job. I also thank you all for not pointing it out. 

I was horrified when I read the post this morning. Quite unworthy of someone who calls herself a writer.

FYI, I have rectified the mistakes now.

And yet another blogger has taken the trouble to write a review of Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions. Do check it out.

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