Archive for May 4th, 2009

Someone sent me this email. It exactly sums up my sentiments.

Dear Bombayites,

After your polling day debacle here are a list of things that we in the Rest of India do not want to hear/see/receive from Bombayites ever after. Please note this is an appeal to Bombayites, not long suffering, hardworking yet dutiful Mumbaikars (because of whom, the city was saved from total and utter disgrace on polling day – 30 Apr09).

1. Please do not make childish arguments using dubious and meaningless statistics as in “Bombay contributes 5 % to India’s GDP, 60 % Customs Duty, 40 % Income Tax, 20 % Central Excise, et al. If you still feel compelled to do so, add another one: 100 % of the hypocrisy! Ok – maybe that’s a bit harsh – 50 % will do!

2. The next time you feel outraged about something, just stay at home or buzz off to Khandala or wherever (like you did on Polling Day). Do not under any circumstances take to the streets in your Fendi shades and Manolo Blahnik shoes carrying smart-ass posters & banners. And for God’s sake – candles are for your birthday cakes, not for littering the Gateway of India and Marine Drive.

3. After the next disaster (God willing it never happens, but if it does) do not send each other (and us) emails with subjects like Citizens Crisis Preparedness where you urge each other to engage with the local police station & fire station, learn first aid & self defence, strengthen your home and your ward, etc. etc. You only end up doing absolutely nothing and looking like the silly hypocrites you are. We wanted to tell you earlier, but thought that you would be too upset after 26/11 to heed good advice (and we were right).

4. For the tiny minority amongst you who want to “be the change you want to see”, do not ever stand for elections again. Because you will not only lose your security deposit but worse; you will end up feeling like shit since all your friends, compatriots and cohorts will desert you on polling day and buzz off to Khandala or wherever.

5. Do not ever complain that your names were struck off the voter’s list – that is really pathetic. It is your job to ensure that you are on it, not the polling officer’s and not your servant’s or your secretary’s!

6. Do not express outrage at your politicians and elected representatives ever again – you just lost the right to do so. Do not proffer the excuse that the Political Parties put up the same old candidates. This was your chance to change the way they operate – and you blew it!

Actually we (Rest of India) thought you had changed but the political parties obviously knew better! We, i.e. the rest of India will always love and respect Bombay/ Mumbai, but we have finally given up on you lot.

Regards, Utterly Disappointed

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