Apropos Advice

One of my readers asked me why I don’t write on the subject of writing so much. Well, there is only so much gyaan I can dish out. The rest is up to you, the writer.  You have to start writing. And in case you already have, stick to it. If you don’t write no amount of advice is going to help. If you do, then no advice is necessary.

Because advice is only advice, after all. It is only a general guideline and subject to individual interpretation/adaptation. I’ll tell you what I did at the beginning. I read all the advice and promptly discarded it the moment I found my style.

Examples of advice/rules I bend:

1.      Never begin a sentence with ‘and’ and ‘because.’ And I do.

2.      Stay away from cheesy alliterations. Which I use ubiquitously.

3.      Avoid long sentences, which generally should be no longer than 21 words. Now that’s a good rule and should be followed because often times by the time the readers have reached the end of the sentence they have to go back to the beginning to figure out what the beginning premise was.

4.      Keep exclamations under control. Surprise! That I do follow!

5.      Don’t be vague on…you get the drift.

Besides I figure, writing about a writer’s life is just as illuminating. People are often flummoxed when I tell them I write for about 5-6 hours a day. And envious, saying things like, “Only 5 hours a day!” Trust them to pick up the smaller number.

But it’s true. I don’t write all the time. I write from morning till about 3.00 p.m. That’s when I have my lunch while watching the Bold and the Beautiful. Don’t ask me to, I can’t explain it. Just put it down to a quirk and leave it at that.

At 3.30 p.m. I promptly take a nap. When I wake up I generally lounge around till it’s cool enough to go for my run. Afterwards it’s dinner and a movie.

I pick up my laptop only afterwards, if at all.

While we are on the subject, and in the interest of guarding my relatively easygoing lifestyle, anyone who’s interested in writing comedy may contact the creative director of Sun Yaar Chill Maar at UTV. They are looking. Oh, and you should be Bombay-based. A bit obvious really.