Monsoon’s here and it’s raining happy water.

Another weekend goes by and what a weekend it was. I reckon I have enough alcohol in me to open a distillery. The arrival of monsoon has put everybody in a party mood. That coupled with the fact that three of my friends had their birthdays on June 28 meant three straight drinking sessions. Of [...]

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People say the weirdest things

People say the weirdest things, don’t they? You walk into a clinic and the receptionist asks, “You here to see the doctor?” Now why would she say that? Why would I go to a clinic at five in the evening if I wanted to see the doctor? I’d walk across to the pub next door. [...]

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He didn’t smoke or drink

The Shiney Ahuja episode carries on. Now more people are coming out in support of him. Someone said, “He didn’t smoke or drink.” I’m sure the maid feels better. “Gee, he raped me, but at least I didn’t get cigarette burns!” Meanwhile, there’s much controversy over the tabling, in the house, of the Bardhan committee [...]

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IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

So the verdict is out. Intercourse did take place between Shiney Ahuja and the maid and the whole industry is united in its condemnation of the incident. When he heard this, Ahuja broke down and cried, “It was the biggest mistake of my life.” When asked whether he admitted to the incident, Ahuja said, “Rape? [...]

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India crashes out of the T-20 Tournament

So, India has crashed out of the T-20 world cup tournament. When Dhoni was asked in a post match interview if Sehwag’s absence contribute to the failure, he said, “Not as much as Jadeja’s presence…and the fact that we gambled on sending in Yuvi way down the order…and the fact that we gambled on chasing…and…To [...]

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To catch a thief

The authorities in a crime ridden section of Tokya have come up with a novel concept to counter burglars. Plant more flowers. Their logic is if the people will be more aware as they will spend more time looking out of their houses while watering or generally looking after the flowers. And here I thought [...]

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I wish Obama was my dad

The US has decided to triple its aid to Pakistan. Boy, I don’t know about you but I wish Obama was my dad. “Hey, bunked school to bonk with boyfriend? Excellent! Let me reward you by taking you out for a beer!” I know, I know, the US has a far reaching agenda in ‘rewarding’ [...]

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Daily Diatribe

Hrithik Roshan has reportedly paid a whopping Rs. 45 crore (Rs. 450 million) for a plot of land in Juhu. Shows he’ll pay anything to get away from daddy. And SRK has gifted his bodyguard a flat in Bandra. You read about that? Seems like SRK’s bodyguard is getting married and when SRK found out, [...]

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Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions has been optioned!

I guess I can let the cat out of the bag now. Kkrishnaa’s Konfessions is being made into a film. The producer is iRock India Pvt. Ltd. and we just signed the deed yesterday. I’m very happy it’s them ‘cos they’re really nice people and as excited about the development as I am. Besides, our [...]

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Life post the multiplex strike

Picture this…a delinquent is given charge of a very expensive machine to run it as he pleases. Indeed, run it aground if he wishes….what’s that?…no, it’s not a quirk of fate…it is a carefully considered decision…No, no, I’m not talking about George Bush, although I do see your point. I’m talking about the latest Star [...]

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